It was a competition among us cousins, though I don’t know how eagerly they took part in it. I was my grandmother’s and aunts’ favourite, their manok, as it were, because everyone here takes part in sabong (cockfighting) even if they hate gambling. My grandmother didn’t like her daughter-in-law, so she expected me to be nicer, smarter, prettier, better than my cousins. I don’t know what she’d say about me if she were alive to compare me with them now. I don’t know that I care.

Last year, Cweedy-poo was born; earlier this year, Chabs arrived. These children will probably seldom see each other as they live in different countries. Nonetheless, the sabong has begun.

I just hope Cweedy-poo doesn’t grow up to be a bully and Chabs isn’t raised to be a pussyboy.

Two months ago, during a granduncle’s funeral, an uncle asked me when they’re going to have a grandchild/niece/nephew by me.

You’ll get one when I have a sperm donor.